Desire. That was what our lesson was about in RS yesterday (as was many of yours). Our teacher asked the simple questions what are YOUR desires, and how do you know they are desires? What is a desire? I try to participate in discussions at church, but this time my mind went of on a big inner dialogue. I thought to myself, my desires are things that weigh on my mind during the day (& night). She then talked about how powerful we truly are and that we DO have the power to make our righteous desires come true. It takes discipline, FOCUS, and prayer. This is such a powerful notion to me. That I CAN make my desires a reality...I CAN. I mean we all know this, it isn't really new information, but for some reason the context of this lesson and the way it was presented just clicked for me. So I have been having this non stop thought pattern in my head about what I want to make come true, and if I REALLY want it enough to put in all that it takes to achieve these things. I know that I certainly get in a comfort zone, and a pattern..a daily routine, that prevents me from achieving a lot of the things I desire. Change is hard, especially change in habits. I will be the first person to admit I have a really hard time focusing & being organized. I don't know why. I skip from project to project all day. I will walk into the kitchen to do dishes, notice the hairbrush sitting on the counter, and walk away in the middle of loading the dishwasher to put the brush in the bathroom...start cleaning in the bathroom, see one of Emersyn's dolls...take it to her room..well you can see the pattern. So one of my desires is to have fabulous organization and a killer chore schedule. So I HAVE to change my patterns and re-teach myself to focus & manage my time better. That is just one of the things I want to improve in my life. Some others are to drop this irritating baby/stress (me? have stress?) weight and be happy with the way I look. I want to be one of those mothers that speaks to her children in a tone of reverence (is that possible with my kids?), a whisper if you will. I desire peace in my heart pertaining to the death of my mother. I think that is something I have to rely on the blessing of time for. I need to find the balance of remembering & enjoying my memories of her without the bitter edge of loss that quickly follows. So as you can see, I have a lot to work on. How do I start making my desires a reality? Well I DO know the answer to that. Pray. Happy Monday!!!
|I also DESIRE to be here..he he|