Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers Day


Mothers Day. Just hearing the words "Mothers Day" has given me such mixed emotions this week! Of course I am thankful for the AMAZING blessings I have been given as a mother, but at the same time I struggled with my loss. I miss my mom more than words can say. There are moments where it hits me so hard that she is gone I truly feel like I can barely breathe, but she wouldn't want that. She wouldn't want to see me struggling so hard, and I know that. I can't hug her, I can't hear her voice, but I can FEEL her around me everyday. I know she shares in my daily joys and sees all that my kids are doing..I KNOW SHE DOES! It is so hard for me to grasp that in this life I will never smell her or hear her laugh or hear her gush over the littlest things the kids do, but I find strength in the knowledge that I WILL see her again, and that I have been blessed with so many memories of her that have now turned into priceless treasures. She really is woven so deeply into my family!! I had an amazing thing happen to me the night she died that has given me strength to make it through these months. Because of my experience I know without a doubt that she IS happy and free of all the pain and emotional struggles she faced in this life. So I know it is my OWN loss I face and that I need to keep walking forward with her memory snuggled closely to my heart.
 I have been reminded several times in these last few months that I still have a mother here on Earth, my sweet mother in law. She has been there to show so much love and support to my family and I, and I don't think she will ever realize how much her efforts have meant to me. I want her to know that I SEE all she has been doing, and why she has, how grateful I am for her and how much we love her!!
I woke up this morning to a smiley Logan so excited to give me my Mothers Day present. He was so excited to show me what he had made. He handed me the gift and a blue otter pop and told me he loved me. As I listened to the giggles of all the kids and the squeals of Holland's new found voice I  was filled with such joy and the reminder that my little family is so young, and I AM the mother to them and that I have been so blessed to have 4 beautiful healthy children to share my life with. What a blessing and HUGE responsibility placed on the shoulders of mothers, but one I will gladly bare. I feel so thankful this Mother's Day to have had such a wonderful example of selfless unconditional love from my own mother, and so thankful to be able to be a mother and pass on the great gifts she gave me. How lucky are me and my children to be able to walk through the rest of our lives with such a special guardian angel to hover above us! I love you mom, I love you mom J, I LOVE you Logan, Cortland, Emersyn, & Holland! HAPPY Mothers Day!

2 comments:

  1. Happy Mother's Day, Amy! Thanks for sharing your sweet thoughts on this somewhat bittersweet day.

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  2. Thank you Alison, it was a nice day. I hope you enjoyed your Mothers Day too!

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